IN TRISHA WE TRUST

(NK) The time has at last come, we must say goodbye to the ‘most wonderful car in the world.’ No, not Chitty Chitty Bang Bang but our Trisha. A vehicle no less magic and amazing than a car that can fly, this was a car that could negotiate Central American roads.

With Trisha the world really was our oyster. From tackling corrupt police to overtaking around bends going uphill (standard Latino driving) Trisha has done it all without complaining once.

A special thanks to Uncle Paul and Auntie Pia, who wisely convinced us to spend a little more on a car that wasn’t going to give us any trouble. Trisha you really couldn’t have done any more for us.

I could go on with this gushing appreciation for our sturdy Toyota 4 Runner but the frustration of us trying to sell her will no doubt be much more interesting.

Our greedy little eyes had seen the cars in Costa Rica often sell for a much higher price than anywhere else in Central America. The problem with an imported car like ours is the huge import taxes which sort of cancel out any benefits. Not deterred by this small inconvenience we put our best salesman smile on and set about the business of selling a car.

We probably should’ve put an advert on Craigslist or something similar, instead we just asked anyone we came into contact with if they wanted to buy a car. This led to a lot of dead ends. Guys offering $6 or $7 grand would come back with two, saying ‘that’s all I’ve got.’

Either everyone was skint or everyone was trying it on. It was probably a mix of the two. Eventually the family that owned the hostel in La Fortuna mentioned their brother Luis might be interested. After some negotiation he offered $4k. Well under our asking price. We left for our Ayahuasca ceremony but returned to La Fortuna afterwards. We had nowhere else to go and no other serious leads so we decided to push a deal with Luis.

The negotiations began and eventually after a while we settled on $4k and a moped. Although I did like the family dog, Osiito, including him in the deal just wasn’t practical. Neither was a moped, and it just gave us something else to sell.

Luis gave us another option – a Samsung Galaxy phone worth $800 (that we could sell for $500) in Costa Rica, two tours and a free shuttle to Puerto Viejo near the Panama border.

We shook on it, that’s when the fun started. Luis was very elusive for the next couple of days, the tours didn’t materialize and we were left waiting around. Eventually the day came and we went to the bank. For reasons that should be obvious we didn’t fancy carrying $4k in our pocket so wanted to do a bank transfer. His bank couldn’t do international bank transfers. We therefore had to use his Mum’s bank. This involved some dodgy exchange rates and charges but kept our money safe. Once that was done we went to see the lawyer to do the paperwork. Lawyer, which much to Luis’ amusement sounds like ‘liar’ in his Latino accent.

We then sold the phone, which gave us some more cash - and another phone. This was getting more convoluted then we could ever have imagined. Luis had also decided that the tours would one day materialize, just not today. The shuttle to Puerto Viejo was also to be replaced by him in his new car, just not today – and we were driving. Now the money had been transferred he didn’t seem to care about the other parts of the deal.

In England Luis, we call this – Taking the piss.

We took Luis to a nearby park (the jungle reserved for bigger offences) for some stern words.

(FK) Neil liked to use the line – ‘my wife won’t be happy with that’ to help instill a little fear into the macho bravardoism during negotiations, so my opening line to Luis was – ‘Luis, I’m very angry…’ Luis could talk a lot and every point we raised was countered with seven from him, half of which were completely unrelated to the selling of a car. He was killing us with nonsense, a tactic I’m familiar with, living with Neil. Luis’ brother rode up on a bike and cheekily tried to inflame the conversation. These Ticos like a good laugh.

(NK) I cut our losses and drew it to a close; he could forget the tours, as long as a shuttle picked us up the next day. We’d been hanging around in La Fortuna way to long and were both desperate to move on. He agreed, we shook and parted company.

True to his word, the shuttle picked us up at 6.15am and sped us away to the Caribbean with a new smart phone we still haven’t sold.

Surprise surprise, selling a car in Central America is not straightforward. We took a $600 loss on what we originally paid when all was done. Speaking to a couple from the States that night we learned they’d hired a car for a month for $1,000.  $600 for five months, not bad when you look at it from that perspective.

A reminder to us to never take more than you need. We needed enough money for flights out of Panama to Oz, that’s what we got plus a bit more and Trisha went to a good home – we think.

Having a car was the only way and we wouldn’t change it. It gave us the ultimate freedom to go wherever, whenever. No timetable to stick to, no-one to wait for – just go! Perhaps, thinking about it, if we’d made the time, bicycles would have been better or even a car with aquatic capabilities or even a bicycle with aquatic capabilities – hmmm – next time.

Goodbye Trisha, you were only metal and oil, but we loved you!!!!!

PURA VIDA

(FK) Neil and I were getting pretty cocky when it came to border crossings, making sure we had done our research on costs and how many bloody photocopies we needed, we had been flying through them. Our luck ran out when we got to Penas Blancas though and it was payback time for all those easy crossings and our smart arse attitude. It took three hours of our lives that we will never get back, consisting of queuing in the midday sun for two hours to get our passport stamped (you know how us Brits love to queue) going back and forth with paperwork to various windows and getting everything copied in triplicate to get Trisha through and handing over a wad of cash. Neil was not in the best of moods but his spirits were lifted as we got into the beautiful Costa Rican countryside. 

Sunset over Junquillal 

Our sixth and penultimate country on our Americas adventure, we were looking forward to seeing what Costa Rica had to offer. In the back of our minds though was the thought of having to sell Trisha here, having grown rather fond of our four wheeled friend we would be sorry to see her go. Particularly as the realisation hit me that I would have to carry all my own gear from Panama onwards!

Costa Rica is jam packed full of national parks and deciding which to go to was giving me a head ache, so we set up camp not too far from the Nicaraguan border at the Bahia Junquillal National Wildlife Refuge in the Guanacaste region. Wow what a find, picture perfect bay, no electricity and loads of wildlife. We were not alone in our quest for some nature time. The small beach front camp site was playing host to an abundance of Tico families who were all on their jollies and kittedout to the max with all the camping mod cons.Oh no we thought there goes our peace and tranquility. We managed to bag the last beach front plot and set up our two man tent and cooking stove. Our neighbours asked if we needed any help with the rest of our stuff, this is it we replied. 

They obviously took pity on us poorly resourced gringos as they kindly invited us for dinner, well it was their lunch but at 6pm. This was our first introduction to Costa Rican hospitality, the Morales family took us into their fold for the next three days. Sharing their food, solar panel power, teaching us to play Rummie and introducing us to the delights of Donkey Juice, a Baileys-esque home brew that knocked my socks off. We got to practice our Spanish and they got to practice their English. A truly lovely family. 

Feeling part of the wonderful Morales family

Junquillal was the perfect place to just kick back, with no schedule or wifi, we walked, swam and read for the entire time. The day started and ended with a walk along the 3km beach, being up and out before the sun rose gave us the opportunity to see lots of exciting tracks in the sand - crocs, turtles, birds and coatis and the stars were amazing despite it being a full moon. We could have stayed longer, but our supplies were running low and we didn't realise we could drink the tap water at the time. So we hit the road again on route for Liberia and some wifi to get back I touch with the world.

After a much needed catch up time with family over the Internet, it was time to move on and nature was calling us again. Costa Rica has a very different vibe to other Central American countries. It feels very safe, with Ticos really valuing their natural assets and what became apparent to us is that the wealth divide between tourists and locals is not so gapingly obvious as in other places. This all makes for an ideal tourist economy and Costa Rica is an organised and well trodden path for those looking to see the 'wild' whilst also experience the creature comforts of back home.

Our next stop was the Rio Celeste, an usual bright blue river caused by a chemical reaction with the volcanic thermal water. It was certainly pretty beautiful, with a huge waterfall, tropical jungle, hot springs and the crazy azure colour, but alone we were not. Having to wait inline whilst tourists took a hundred pictures of themselves on the slim and muddy track was not ideal. Though my highlight of the hike was getting to see Toucans. Not so for Neil though, as he saw his second Jaguarundi on the drive into the park as I was looking out the window in the opposite direction. The luck of the Kirwan prevails!

The crazy blue lagoon

A poncho sweat tent!

Spot the Toucan...

Neil in his colour co-ordinated 'outfit'

With our rumbling bellies we were keen to look for some where to eat and then hopefully somewhere to camp. We got a 2 for 1 at the most bizarre but beautiful fish farm called Angel Tellaipia located on the main road (6 towards the PanAm). After picking our fish, we were given some fish food to walk around the ponds. It was reminiscent of the film Piraña! The farm was set on different levels with lush, thick grass, an assortment of tropical flowering bushes and a giant fish sculpture! We also stumbled across four very giddy guard dogs, tethered to run, who just wanted some love and attention. Back down to the restaurant we went for our delicious deep fried fish (in a rather tasty KFC style coating!), in our basic Spanglish we asked if there was anywhere nearby to camp. The lady owner went to check with her husband and came back to say we could set up camp on the farm. We asked what the charge was, to which she chuckled and replied "libre". The second act of kindness and hospitality we were shown, Costa Rica's ethos 'Pura Vida' (pure life) really did sum up the essence of the country.

Poor little fish.. yum yum 

Wow, what a spot, and it's FREE!

Our friends Yanni and Michelle had given us some recommendations to visit, one of which was the nearby(ish) town of La Fortuna and Volcano Arenal. The small town had obviously grown as a result of the lucrative tourist trade, with rafting, zip lines, quads, hot springs and hiking tours on offer. We found a cheap place to stay that we could pitch the tent - it used to be called Sissey's Cabanas but has recently undergone a bit of a revamp and was now called BBB. As we turned up, a group of three unhappy looking hippies were loading their beat up camper van with an assortment of weird stuff. Being the nosy person I am, I asked what the place was like. They said the owners had asked them to leave as they were fully booked with reservations and the owners kids were really noisy. 

Not a bad spot.

I looked about, nice garden, kitchen, hammocks, outdoor covered seating area, wifi and only $3 a night to camp, yeah we'll take our chances I said. It turned out to be a great call, Amelia and her family were brilliant and we felt very much at home. It was a little noisy, but more so from the neighbour's cockerel who insisted on crowing throughout the night and the dogs who were on guard for any general movements. Neil was in his element, reverting back to being a kid again, he was the leader of the pack introducing a game called extremo where the kids sat on a rope swing that had an extra rope attached to it to simulate being on a crazy bull. His new name, Nickolini, was being screamed as the kids went higher and higher.

(NK) The kids had me run ragged and were also some of the naughtiest boys I've ever met. They thought nothing of throwing rocks at each other and were constantly causing troubled for their mum. I couldn't have a Skype conversation without one of them joining in. Take this little love -

Butter wouldn't melt sunshine

Christian aka Pepe (what his family called him) aka cheeky chops (what we called him and eventually he called himself). He was a terror! No - one was safe when he was around and he was worryingly good with a lasso for a boy his age. Nevertheless Cheeky Chops, the family dog Ossito and my alter ego Nickolini formed an unlikely pack. I'm ashamed to say I quite liked my Costa Rican name Nickolini -it made me feel like a communist dictator.

Using our new family as our base we explored the Cerro Chatto and surrounding rivers and hot springs. It was lucky we had the kitchen as the Ayahuasca ceremony prescribed a strict diet that avoided many grains and sugary foods. Which rules out most of the plate in Central America. 

An unfazed Coati Mundi

God damn it was a hard hike, but the views of Volcan Arenal were worth it.

We left with one of those happy emotional goodbyes knowing that Amelia's brother Luis was interested in Trisha. Could this be her new home? 

Mr Porras, Neil Amelia, Fernando, Mikal, Christian, Oso the dog and Melvin

AT EASE IN BELIZE

(NK) Our journey continued on land as we blazed a trail down one of the few highways in Belize, heading towards a spot called Lower Dover in a small village called Unitedville. Belize is known for it’s Cayes, beaches and barrier reef but with only 325,000 people in a country about the size of Wales, its wild interior is a great place to explore. The laid back towns of the west have a very quaint feel with adventure calling from all angles.

Lower Dover is a field station between Belmopan and San Ignacio with an uncovered Mayan site that is on the cusp of being excavated and restored by archeologists. Owned by an American family, during June and July it’s all about archeology, but for the rest of the year tourists are welcome to stay. With a jungle backdrop this really is a place that puts you on nature’s doorstep and we arrived to find a Coati Mundi was being smoked for dinner after losing a fight with one of the pet dogs that lives there.

The field station was indeed in a field

Madeleine whips up organic healthy fayre in the kitchen from her extensive garden while her son Justin takes guests on tours around the jungle trails. We loved our stay here and learned a huge deal from the family about the local ecosystem, its plant life and Mayan history. Too many people head straight from Belize City to Guatemala, without stopping off around San Ignacio and its neighbouring towns.

Fresh salad allowed us to take a break from tortillas

We decided to get more adventurous and headed into the Pine Ridge Forest. A remote protected area close to the border with Guatemala. Usually an armed escort goes into the park everyday to convoy the tourists up to the Caracol ruins, as there are occasionally bandits that cross over from Guatemala. But we’d missed it. The ranger at the gate asked which areas of the reserve we’d be visiting and assured us we’d be OK on our own.

Into the wild 

Along the way we met a guy called Arran who owns the Mountain Equestrian Trails. A thoroughly decent chap, he helped tighten a few loose bolts on Trisha and gave us some tangerines plucked off a nearby tree, before pointing us towards Big Rock, in his opinion the best swimming hole in Belize.

The road took us past Blanceneaux, a very classy place owned by Francis Ford Coppola. We had a quick smell of our underarms and decided it was probably for the best if we carried on driving. Eventually we pulled up to a little wooden sign and took a very steep trail down to the river. What we saw blew us away. It opened up on the most idyllic waterfall, but best of all we had the place to 

ourselves.

.................

Surrounded by steep rocks it’s possible to swim through the two icy pools and stand right underneath the falls. We both stood at the bottom in awe as water thundered all around us. When we turned to look out, a huge rainbow had landed right at Fiona’s feet.

“Where’s the pot of gold.” I said.

“I AM the pot of gold!” She screamed.

The water was icy fresh

After a fair bit of swimming and some fine dining (a coconut we hacked open and shared) we decided to pitch a tent and stay the night. The place was deserted so we felt fairly safe or as safe as you can feel, camping in the wilds of a foreign country. The road was only a few hundred meters away from the tent and the path was gravel so we’d have plenty of warning if we had human visitors. The jaguars and pumas would hopefully keep their distance.

That night we had an encounter of a different kind. Being fairly well travelled we’ve seen the brilliance of the night sky in a few remote places but what we saw that night was incredible. Millions of stars from horizon to horizon filled the sky, there were so many and so bright it was impossible to make out any constellations. We stood and watched the various swirls and galaxies, again in awe at the natural world, until one on the horizon started to pulsate before changing colour. At first we assumed it was a plane or helicopter but the night air was silent. The colours changed with a movement akin to a hippy's lava lamp and it wasn’t long before Fi had decided it as a UFO.

It certainly was unidentified, as neither of us had a clue what it was (we were later told it was probably an exploding sun or a super nova). Fi started to feel spooked and dragged me into the security of our tent. The tent that couldn’t protect us from an angry raccoon, but was sure to save us from aliens.

We were awoken by a knocking at the door, which is very confusing in a tent. Woody woodpecker and his friends were hard at it, looking for breakfast and after the rather light coconut dinner we whipped up some beans and crackers of our own. We pushed on further into the reserve in search of the Rio Frio cave, stopping first at Rio on Pools for another swim and a run around. The whole area was becoming our private playground.

Like a Timote advert!

Weird Woman

When we reached the cave we were shocked to find that two other tourists had also decided to visit the cave at exactly the same time as us. Ah well, it was good while it had lasted. The cave was enormous and opened out into the jungle. The Maya people worshipped here and brought offerings.

Cathedral sized cave

It was also home to a giant at one point. Look, I found one of his old footprints.

Genuine giant footprint from 908 BC

After two days in the wild we headed back to Lower Dover for one last night but made a very special stop at Mamas Hot Sauce Factory. Hot sauce is a very important part of our diet so we felt obliged to go and sample some.

Yes, good spot, I've been wearing the same vest for 15 days straight

Big Mama had been busy and has started branching out into chocolate and fudge. Now chocolate and chilli is a fairly accepted flavor combination amongst people that spend too much time watching cookery shows. But fudge and chilli, that’s a new one on us. Turns out it could be the new garlic bread. Delicious smooth creamy fudge, not dissimilar to the type you find at a Cornish seaside town is followed by a smack around the face from the habanero chilli. Lovely stuff.

Fi gets a fudge flavoured smack around the face 

Also making the list of enjoyable Belizean treats is the chocobanana, modeled below rather seductively by Fi. Dipped in chocolate and nuts before being frozen, it makes for a filling but naughty afternoon snack.

A new love for chocolate banana

Our ten days in Belize has certainly been eventful and I don’t doubt that one day we’ll be back. Some very friendly people and a laid back atmosphere have helped put us back on track. With the wind in our sails we headed for the Guatemalan border. Bye bye Belize, we had fun!

Shout out to Uncle Pasci

AMERICAN COUSINS - DC

It was perhaps by luck that the handsome Uncle Paul (See Patrick Swayze) was travelling back from Vermont by way of Montreal and as such had to come past New York.  Even luckier, he offered to come right into Brooklyn to pick us up.

 Paul 'Swayze' Kirwan

After a four hour drive we arrived at the family home of the American Kirwans to a warm welcome. This was to be our base for finding the truck that would take us on our journey.

It's a hard life at the Kirwan's

It was to be a search fraught with dangers and booby traps, that’s what I said, booby twaps.

In our minds we were looking for a Toyota 4 Runner. An SUV we could both sleep in should the need arise and known for reliability… kind of. The search began with some absolute lemons. One thing we did grasp was the vastness of this country. What looks like the next town is often a 50 mile drive. Uncle Paul came with us on the first day, I think to make sure we didn’t do anything stupid. After that we were on our own.

We finally settled on a 98 4 Runner that drove pretty well and had it checked out by a local mechanic. All signs pointed to yes and poor Trisha, the lady that owned the car had called the house. Only after we’d left to take the car to the mechanic did she realize that she hadn’t checked our ID’s… she didn’t even know our names.

Jessie Dog giving her approval

Trisha needn’t have worried, the next day we paid her for the truck and even named it after her in homage. Only two days later the engine light came on. Something about an evap flux capacitator cleaner filtration thing. Nothing Glue, duct tape and a bit of wood couldn’t fix. My most manly moment to date (the engine light has since come on again). Some new Yokohama Geolander tyres, an oil change, a locking gas cap and she’s good to go.

Fi and Trisha

We have also spent many a night trawling malls and mainly Walmart to get gear for our trip, which we decided to buy mostly in America.

(FK) The rest of our time in Washington we got to spend as tourists learning the finer points of US life and the American dream. Highlights included Aunty Pia’s cooking (ribs, mash and beans, surf ‘n’ turf and cookies galore), a night out with the young ‘uns in a cool hipster neighbourhood culminating with Neil ‘hanging like a bat’ on the metro home (always keen to impress with his tricks and brawn), going to uni with Selina and Neil (Rex Kwon Do) teaching the self defense class (it came with the caveat of “I’m more about attack than defense” and a trip to Barack’s crib.

Washington was a really impressive city, they sure know how to build memorials. Having walked the Mall, the WWII and the Vietnam tributes were not only beautiful but very sobering and I had a little tear in my eye. The mood lifted though after me, Neil and Nick had a sit down at the Abraham Lincoln Memorial and looked out over the Reflecting Pool, we reflected and then I did my best ‘Jennie’ impression. Yes, Forrest Gump has featured quite heavily so far in our trip and that along with Neil’s love of porches will no doubt continue as a theme!

WWII Memorial

Barack's Crib

Reflection Pool

The Memorial, at night

As Paddy and Debs thought we would never leave the comfort of Dyson Grove, so too did the American Kirwans perhaps think the same as we settled into life with our own suite complete with cinema room.

But the bright morning came on the 19^th  September, our own Independence Day was upon us. Off we went with our larder of delicious left over dinners to see us through the next couple of days and boy were we pleased we had them!

The Kirwan's waved off