YO-HO YO-HO A PIRATE’S LIFE FOR ME

I suppose we’ve got some explaining to do after last time’s cliffhanger. It was at the end of this pier we met Captain Demando and started to exchange stories.

He gave us some crazy nuggets about his life and come the evening we were happy to sit with him and our new Canadian friend, drinking and having a little sing song at a gem of a campsite - Magic Bacalar.

The next day after we knew each other a bit better he dropped it on us. I’ll simplify the conversation for the purposes of this blog.

“I have a 66ft yacht in Florida that I want to bring to Mexico before circumnavigating through the Caribbean, around South America and across the South Pacific. I’m looking for two more crewmembers for the team and think you two would work well on board. I’ll give you a day to decide, everything will be paid for by me. You just have to learn how to sail and crew the yacht.”

Hmmm. What do you say to that? 

We had a few deliberations whist trying to hold our excitement.  Captain Demando was slightly crazy (which we liked) and we wouldn’t be able to meet the rest of the crew until we got closer to setting sail. It would mean selling Trisha in Mexico rather than the States as planned. We had zero sailing experience, other than the rowing boats at Heaton Park. It was also a big commitment. Our time, our sanity and potentially our lives could be on the line. We’d also go from just the two of us to being part of a bigger team.

Then there’s the danger. Sailing is dangerous, storms can be fatal and the route was going to take us around Cape Horn, a notorious graveyard for sailors.

For every positive there were some serious considerations to make. Yet life doesn’t always throw opportunities like this your way. Since starting this trip we have developed a fixed policy of saying yes to any adventure.

After weighing the decision we realized there was only ever one answer.

So back we turned towards Cancun, from here we had some decisions to make about where to bring the yacht in. There was also mountain of planning, logistics and scouting to get through. We were officially under Demando’s command and after the drive to Cancun he made the decision to make me first mate. A big responsibility that meant I needed to starting stepping up to challenges and decisions.

We booked in at the Ibis for a few days. It was weird to be in a hotel after so much time camping and staying in hostels but there was work to be done. Our lifestyle changed significantly.

No more street tacos for us

Every morning we met at 8am and got Captain Demando his morning beer and ciggy before heading for a breakfast meeting. We’d then scout Cancun for supplies and start organizing the many logistics involved with getting this project off the ground. By lunch we’d usually be sat in a big American restaurant eating steak and getting pissed.  Demando was teaching us a lot and fast. Not just about sailing but about Mexico, business, politics and life in general. He’d lived in Oaxaca for 15 years after becoming disillusioned with the states. A middle of the road Democrat, Demando has had many successful business ventures and was once put forward for Congress.

The more we learnt about Demando, the more this seemed like some crazy dream. Or a prank someone was trying to pull. It all just seemed a bit unbelievable, his life, the fact we were crew on his yacht. He was also going to  teach us to sing, play guitar, sail, trade futures and commodities on the markets as part of the deal. It felt surreal, weird but great at the same time.

Then things got really weird. We were in Walmart in Cancun, shopping for supplies for the boat in 30-degree heat, walking through the Christmas section listening to Slade sing, ‘So here it is Merry Christmas’, with a rock star, drunk. It was too much for our little heads. Especially when Demando started doing his loudmouthed Billy bob red neck impression on full blast. It's funny he hates loud 'Mericans but is in complete denial about the fact that he's one at least 50% of the time.

(FK) I wasn’t overjoyed to be back in Cancun but shopping with someone else’s money helped ease the pain. Especially shopping for a new pair of boat shoes. A girl needs to have the right cruising attire. So whilst I looked for practical stuff, including some pretty amazing leopard print stuff in Bershka,  Neil and Demando became drunk with happiness in one particular shop, the sword shop.  All I could hear from across the mall was, “I want that one, I want this one, let’s get five of those.”

Inside were replica swords from various fictional characters. Excalibur, Gladiator, Lord of the Rings, Game of Thrones, pirate swords. They were both lost in excitement by the time I arrived. The upshot is we’re all having swords and skull and crossbone pendants that have tiny daggers that pull out from the crossbones.  They really do think they’re pirates!

(NK) We finished our stay in Cancun with a trip to the Casino and a game of Mexican Bingo where all the numbers were obviously in Spanish, because how could it get any weirder? Well, in a room full of about a hundred Mexicans, Fiona could win. That’s how it could get weirder. So off we went into the night to spank the winnings.

The next day we were going back to Holbox Island to find a place to bring the boat in.

IN THERE LIKE SWIMWEAR

After some hot sweaty days getting ruined we were ready for the beach. First up was Isla Holbox at the Northern end of the Yucatan. The island was really quiet and peaceful with lots of lobster pizza on offer. On the boat back we visited a fresh water spring. It was like swimming in Evian Water. The captain made jokes about Cocodrillios, otherwise we would have stayed there all day. Sure enough, 100yrds downstream was a fat crocodile basking in the sun. 

Happy as a pig in...

Trainin' in paradise

Onwards we went to Cancun where we had a couple of nights at the Queztal Hostel for our first time in a dorm on bunk beds. Surprisingly, we slept really well though we made sure we were wearing earplugs. We also got some training in at Warrior Fitness. Having no one to fight with for two months was making me slightly grumpy but these guys helped me get it out of my system.

Cancun was just a stepping-stone to Isla Mujeres. It’s all about the big nightclubs and all inclusive beach hotels, neither of which is our thing. We rolled Trisha onto the ferry and set up the palace (the big tent) for some days by the beach. It was good to relax a little after all the driving. We managed to do a couple of dives and some snorkeling but our main reason for coming was to pay Richart Sowa a visit.

Isla Mujeres

As Ben and Moon had told us in Palenque, Richart Sowa has built an island from scratch using plastic bottles. The type you see tourists drinking from all the time. He groups them up in little net bags, then uses pallets and plywood to cover the bottles and then finishes it off with sand. Mangroves and other saltwater plants are grown through to help tie the island together. It’s one of the most mental things I’ve ever seen but we loved it. The bottles don’t decompose as they’re protected by the sun. He’s built his own mini palace with a shower, toilet, two beds, kitchen, solar oven, rooftop Jacuzzi!

The island has featured on Ripley’s Believe it or Not and MTV Extreme Cribs but his main motivation is to provide an alternative way of living that will adapt to rising sea levels.

Richart's floating island

We talked extensively about planetary issues, aliens, the history and future of mankind. He was a very lovely and interesting man with big plans to grow his island into a completely self-sufficient province floating in the Caribbean sea. No man is an island, unless your name is Richart Sowa. Hopefully one day we’ll be back to see him!

There’s a lot of alien talk around these parts, especially as it’s argued the Mayans had relationships with aliens. On our way south we stopped at Puerto Morelos and chatted to another guy about his numerous alien abductions. He just casually dropped it into the conversation.

We were there waiting to do a skydive but after three days the weather conditions still weren’t safe. It was glorious sunshine on the beach but apparently the winds at 10,000 ft were dangerous. Another time we thought, I was ecstatic with relief. (FK – I actually think Neil paid them off.)

Southwards we pressed until we hit Akumal, a small beach town known for its Turtles. We snorkeled in a pristine lagoon where freshwater meets salt before finding somewhere to pitch the tent. Akumal seemed typical of the Mayan Riviera in that pricey resorts and Cabanas lined the beach. After asking around we were introduced to an Argentinian named Carlos who took us up some dirt roads to his jungle ranch with his wife Alma, 5-year-old daughter Matilda and Mayan guard dog Compadre who kept trying to piss on our tent.

Crystal

The Ranch had two Cenotes in its grounds and was only a five-minute drive from the beach. Perfect. We spent the next few days having fun with Carlos and his family. At Akumal beach you can walk straight out and snorkel with huge turtles chomping on sea grass. We’d spend hours snorkeling and then head back to the ranch or Carlos’ Pizza place for a few beers. It was a very relaxing time and we formed a great friendship with Carlos, Alma and Matilda.

Pizza n beer with Carlos and Alma

Fi and Matilda -  best mates

Neil and Compadre - best mates

All best mates

Crazy frog going cave diving

Matilda going crazy

After some emotional goodbyes we continued south to Tulum. We’d heard great things about the place so we were pretty excited. It failed to meet expectations. Again, like big parts of the Mayan Riviera, it was too tourist crazy. Part of our issue with Tulum may have been the four-hour drive we took down the peninsula on a terrible dirt road to a place called Punta Allen. It was a nightmare of a drive but we kept saying: “It’ll be worth it, I bet the end of this road has something amazing.” It wasn’t so we turned around and headed up the same shitty dirt road. Poor Trisha had her 4x4 status put to the sword.

After some radgy bickering with each other along the way we helped a hippy Spanish couple that had a flat tyre. It felt unusual but satisfying to be responsible adults that actually had the equipment available to help someone by the roadside. We hope they got back OK.

On our way back we were almost rewarded with a spectacular moonrise. The picture doesn’t do it justice.

Moonrise

Fi was looking for a place to fly camp on the beach but everywhere seemed taken by resorts so we ended up at some hippy commune in a damp bed.

With that wretched day behind us we hit the road again until we reached Bacalar, a fresh water lagoon with the most amazing crystal clear turquoise waters. This was much more our style. We set up camp in the Magic Hostels garden and enjoyed yet more swimming (it’s keeping us fit).

Beauty of Bacalar

It was here we met Captain Demando. We can’t use his real name; Captain Demando is the name Fiona gave him, which he loves. He’s an old rock star and he was about to completely turn our trip upside down.