AT EASE IN BELIZE

(NK) Our journey continued on land as we blazed a trail down one of the few highways in Belize, heading towards a spot called Lower Dover in a small village called Unitedville. Belize is known for it’s Cayes, beaches and barrier reef but with only 325,000 people in a country about the size of Wales, its wild interior is a great place to explore. The laid back towns of the west have a very quaint feel with adventure calling from all angles.

Lower Dover is a field station between Belmopan and San Ignacio with an uncovered Mayan site that is on the cusp of being excavated and restored by archeologists. Owned by an American family, during June and July it’s all about archeology, but for the rest of the year tourists are welcome to stay. With a jungle backdrop this really is a place that puts you on nature’s doorstep and we arrived to find a Coati Mundi was being smoked for dinner after losing a fight with one of the pet dogs that lives there.

The field station was indeed in a field

Madeleine whips up organic healthy fayre in the kitchen from her extensive garden while her son Justin takes guests on tours around the jungle trails. We loved our stay here and learned a huge deal from the family about the local ecosystem, its plant life and Mayan history. Too many people head straight from Belize City to Guatemala, without stopping off around San Ignacio and its neighbouring towns.

Fresh salad allowed us to take a break from tortillas

We decided to get more adventurous and headed into the Pine Ridge Forest. A remote protected area close to the border with Guatemala. Usually an armed escort goes into the park everyday to convoy the tourists up to the Caracol ruins, as there are occasionally bandits that cross over from Guatemala. But we’d missed it. The ranger at the gate asked which areas of the reserve we’d be visiting and assured us we’d be OK on our own.

Into the wild 

Along the way we met a guy called Arran who owns the Mountain Equestrian Trails. A thoroughly decent chap, he helped tighten a few loose bolts on Trisha and gave us some tangerines plucked off a nearby tree, before pointing us towards Big Rock, in his opinion the best swimming hole in Belize.

The road took us past Blanceneaux, a very classy place owned by Francis Ford Coppola. We had a quick smell of our underarms and decided it was probably for the best if we carried on driving. Eventually we pulled up to a little wooden sign and took a very steep trail down to the river. What we saw blew us away. It opened up on the most idyllic waterfall, but best of all we had the place to 

ourselves.

.................

Surrounded by steep rocks it’s possible to swim through the two icy pools and stand right underneath the falls. We both stood at the bottom in awe as water thundered all around us. When we turned to look out, a huge rainbow had landed right at Fiona’s feet.

“Where’s the pot of gold.” I said.

“I AM the pot of gold!” She screamed.

The water was icy fresh

After a fair bit of swimming and some fine dining (a coconut we hacked open and shared) we decided to pitch a tent and stay the night. The place was deserted so we felt fairly safe or as safe as you can feel, camping in the wilds of a foreign country. The road was only a few hundred meters away from the tent and the path was gravel so we’d have plenty of warning if we had human visitors. The jaguars and pumas would hopefully keep their distance.

That night we had an encounter of a different kind. Being fairly well travelled we’ve seen the brilliance of the night sky in a few remote places but what we saw that night was incredible. Millions of stars from horizon to horizon filled the sky, there were so many and so bright it was impossible to make out any constellations. We stood and watched the various swirls and galaxies, again in awe at the natural world, until one on the horizon started to pulsate before changing colour. At first we assumed it was a plane or helicopter but the night air was silent. The colours changed with a movement akin to a hippy's lava lamp and it wasn’t long before Fi had decided it as a UFO.

It certainly was unidentified, as neither of us had a clue what it was (we were later told it was probably an exploding sun or a super nova). Fi started to feel spooked and dragged me into the security of our tent. The tent that couldn’t protect us from an angry raccoon, but was sure to save us from aliens.

We were awoken by a knocking at the door, which is very confusing in a tent. Woody woodpecker and his friends were hard at it, looking for breakfast and after the rather light coconut dinner we whipped up some beans and crackers of our own. We pushed on further into the reserve in search of the Rio Frio cave, stopping first at Rio on Pools for another swim and a run around. The whole area was becoming our private playground.

Like a Timote advert!

Weird Woman

When we reached the cave we were shocked to find that two other tourists had also decided to visit the cave at exactly the same time as us. Ah well, it was good while it had lasted. The cave was enormous and opened out into the jungle. The Maya people worshipped here and brought offerings.

Cathedral sized cave

It was also home to a giant at one point. Look, I found one of his old footprints.

Genuine giant footprint from 908 BC

After two days in the wild we headed back to Lower Dover for one last night but made a very special stop at Mamas Hot Sauce Factory. Hot sauce is a very important part of our diet so we felt obliged to go and sample some.

Yes, good spot, I've been wearing the same vest for 15 days straight

Big Mama had been busy and has started branching out into chocolate and fudge. Now chocolate and chilli is a fairly accepted flavor combination amongst people that spend too much time watching cookery shows. But fudge and chilli, that’s a new one on us. Turns out it could be the new garlic bread. Delicious smooth creamy fudge, not dissimilar to the type you find at a Cornish seaside town is followed by a smack around the face from the habanero chilli. Lovely stuff.

Fi gets a fudge flavoured smack around the face 

Also making the list of enjoyable Belizean treats is the chocobanana, modeled below rather seductively by Fi. Dipped in chocolate and nuts before being frozen, it makes for a filling but naughty afternoon snack.

A new love for chocolate banana

Our ten days in Belize has certainly been eventful and I don’t doubt that one day we’ll be back. Some very friendly people and a laid back atmosphere have helped put us back on track. With the wind in our sails we headed for the Guatemalan border. Bye bye Belize, we had fun!

Shout out to Uncle Pasci

YOU BETTER BELIZE IT!

(NK)We made a rookie error by crossing into Belize without filling Trisha up. The cost of fuel in Belize is significantly higher. After going through the paperwork in Mexico we drove through no mans land and were immediately overwhelmed with Caribbean hospitality. The heavily accented English and the friendly smiles that greeted us immediately put us at ease. Customs and immigration was a breeze. We ended up chatting to the passport control guy for about half an hour as he gave us his picks of where we should visit.

What have you done to the Police unit!

Rustic river crossings

The ferries use Manpower in Belize

The first stop involved a two hour-long drive down a dirt road and a crazy river crossing before arriving at the very peaceful Backpackers Paradise. Natalie and Ed’s place has a variety of organic fruits growing in a jungle setting. The spiders are getting bigger and the creepies are definitely doing more crawling. We pitched the tent after a small incident with a big hairy spider, before joining Natalie in the restaurant for some Lion Fish and coconut rice.

Lion Fish is a poisonous non-native species that’s killing off other native species all over the Caribbean. We spoke to a marine biologist who told as that they’re doing everything they can to encourage restaurants and fishermen to start selling this stuff as opposed to the Conch, which isn’t as abundant. It’s one of the best fish I’ve ever tasted, very meaty with the slight sweetness you get in scallops. Makes sense, tastes delicious and saves the sea. There, some education.

The next day we went out horse riding with Natalie through the jungle past a Jaguar watering hole.

Saddle Up

Bush came along for the ride, looks like someone we know

(FK) Natalie kindly offered to take us out as Neil and I both hadn't ridden since we were young. So, we got kitted up like Brokeback Mountain extras, mounted our trusty steeds and off we went for a jungle, village and beach hack. Natalie had reassured me that my horse was very relaxed and would have no problems.

Great, I thought, that will ease me back into the saddle nicely. It became apparent early on that Ned was in no hurry at all, despite all my enthusiastic "vamoose!" and "allez!" it did little to encourage my ride to pick up his pace. Natalie even fashioned a whipping stick for me, but even that didn't work. It wasn't until Natalie's feisty young horse gave mine a bite on the legs, that he decided to pick up the pace momentarily, only to return to an amble. Neil was an absolute natural galloping off ahead whilst I could only laugh at my stubborn horse.

The Three Amigos

(NK) That evening we got acquainted with two other travellers, Kerry and Linda who were also heading to Caye Caulker, so we agreed to leave Trisha with Natalie and Ed and jump in the back of a flatbed down to the port. The three dogs that live at Backpackers ran behind us all the way down to the pier and gave us a goodbye kiss.

Puppy love

(FK) Island life was calling again along with the chance of more diving. There's no cars on the island and the only roads are white sand paths, as soon as we stepped off the boat, the laid back Caribbean vibe hit us with the island's very apt moto of 'go slow' apparent. It's a place not without its characters, especially the colourful Rastas, spreading warm greetings of love, peace, oh and the offer of some good homegrown weed too!

The Rasta Mantra

Go Slow

We found the cheapest place to stay (but really good) was Sandy Lane and we had our very own private love shack. So we dumped our small bags, chucked off our flip flops and went for a beer.

With a roof right over our head

Yes. It. Is

The highlight of my three days was a massage at Cocoplum with Mayan midwife Ms Juana. We found it by accident, exploring the island on our Fixie bikes.  Chris the owner invited us in to have a look around, despite it being Sunday morning and a rare day off for him. He was a pretty interesting chap, and could talk more than me (NK – which meant we were there for a really long time). He’d been born into a Mennonite family, but did not fit the mould with his creative freethinking. He had designed a beautiful and tranquil haven set back from the main town. His eye for design was clear with his Remy Mackintosh inspired designed lights and a zen like balance to the whole place.

Coco Plum Sanctuary - designed by Chris

We got talking about some of his past clients and the wonders of Mayan medicine and practices. Chris told us some of the amazing differences the Mayan womb massage had made to women and their partners.

Chris is most definitely in touch with his feminine side and not afraid to celebrate it. The Mayans believe that the centre of a woman is her womb and in order for her to be as emotionally balanced and as fertile as possible, her womb needs to be in the centre of her body. Urmm, yes Chris, every woman's womb is in the centre, isn't it? Apparently not. This can lead to various problems such as hormonal mood swings, depression, pains in other parts of the body, miscarriages and difficulty getting pregnant.  He'd treated numerous women who had difficulty conceiving, one of whom was about to embark on $20,000 IVF treatment, only to discover she had fallen pregnant naturally six weeks after returning home. Even women who aren't planning on getting preggers end up with a bun in the oven.

Don't worry this isn't going where some of you might think it is. So anyway, I was sold purely on the hormonal balancing side. A girl can never be too balanced in my opinion. Ms Juana got to work on me with a full body massage, which was much needed after the stress and strains of the previous weeks. She finished on my stomach area, massaging around my waist, hips and my insides it felt like. She took my hands and got me to feel my stomach, pointing out a cavity in the lower left and then a solid shape on my right just above my pelvis. Sure enough my womb was off centre, so Ms Juana put in back in place and finished with a head massage.

I woke Neil up who had dozed off for an hour on the sofa and went and spoke to Chris. I felt amazing, re-energised and I’m going to say it - glowing. Ms Juana said that I might have suffered a sore leg in the past. I hadn't told Chris as I didn't think it was important but I'd been suffering with a really sore right foot for about a year. It causes me pain when I walk after sleeping or sitting for a while. I thought it was to do with wearing heels and or poor supporting flats. Anyway, when I got up from the bed I could walk normally instead of like an old lady.

Ms Juana, Chris and a hormonally balanced me

I was absolutely blown away, Chris explained the muscles that hold the womb in place are connected to the ones in your legs and the position it was in was causing the muscles in my foot to be affected. He'd had a similar lady in who could only walk with a stick due to severe leg pain. After a treatment she no longer needed the stick.

I told Chris that I would drop him a line to let him know how my foot is and if I end up pregnant!  

(NK) As if things couldn’t get more relaxing, that night we had a BBQ with Kerry, Linda and some Rastas.  Rasta Mike, Kerry and I went to a back street fishmonger to pick up some ‘caught that day’ Snapper and Grouper, before Linda taught me how to roll a joint so we could get everyone’s appetite going. It’s always good to learn new skills.

What a catch

Fi gets her hands dirty

Keep on rollin

Rasta Mike turned out to be a whizz in the kitchen and had also brought some of his homemade Blackberry wine, which tasted somewhere between Port and Sherry. Before dinner, Rasta Ray gave us a beautiful speech about how he’d like to welcome us to the island; his home was our home as we all live in one home - planet earth. No borders, one love.

Spoken like a true Rasta!

He finished it with: “I know I’d receive the same welcome in your country too.”

“Errrrm, yeah, you definitely would.” we said, with lie written all over our faces. Being put on the spot like that made us think.

Rasta Mike cooks up a storm

It’s strange; in the US we were warned about Mexicans. Then the Mexicans warned us about Belize and Guatemala. And everyone worries about dangerous countries without perhaps giving a thought to the genuine human beings that live there. It’s easy to get consumed by fear, building a picture in your mind that isn’t consistent with reality. There are bad people and good people everywhere. It does not depend on your nation of birth or the colour of your skin.

Another local called Vicky joined us at the BBQ, and our new friends started raving about how good fish eye tastes! I was seriously doubtful and told Vicky she would have to go first. To my dismay she plucked out the sizeable fish eye with a knife, popped it in her mouth, sucked, then spat it out. 

Suck and spit!

It was my turn next, in it went before I could rationalize anything and surprisingly, it did indeed taste a little bit like Oysters. I mean a little bit. It’s not something I’m in a hurry to do again.

Yikes

The boat trip back to Sarteneja was hit by an unexpected spanner in the works. When we tried to get the connecting water taxi from San Pedro, we were told there were none on a Wednesday or Thursday. Our faces dropped. We either went back to Caye Caulker or stayed in San Pedro for two nights. Both were expensive and time consuming options. In the distance I saw some more local boats in a makeshift port so we took a wander over.

On the way we were accosted by three piss heads, one of whom had a pet raccoon on his shoulder. He even let me stroke it. Just as we were making our excuses to leave, we were saved by a bypassing Rasta, who led us to the legend that is Captain Orlando.

Captain Orlando

He told us that for a fee much cheaper than the Water Taxi he’d take us back to Sarteneja at Midday. We agreed and came back later to jump aboard his small sailing boat. The water taxi took about 1 hour 45 so we were taken a back when Orlando told us it’d take 6 hours. Turns out Orlando’s five brothers were also coming on the boat.  Ah, at last, I thought. We are going to be robbed and left to die on a desert island.

Aye Aye Capt'in

Turned out to be one of the best trips we’ve ever taken. We talked and laughed all the way as we skipped past the beautiful Cayes in glorious sunshine over perfectly calm waters.

One of the many Cayes we passed

As the sun started sinking, a lone dolphin came right up to the boat and put on a little show for us. Under a carpet of stars the brothers continued to navigate there way back home without a compass. Once a week they make the round trip from their village to sell fruit and veg in San Pedro.

We couldn't see where one started and the other ended

They told us that the route was also huge for cocaine smugglers and fishermen sometimes found big bags washed up on the shore.

Dolphin/Cocaine watch

 It’s known as the sea lotto and one bag is enough to feed the village for a year. Unfortunately there have been occasions when the smugglers have come looking for their gear and they always end in bloodshed. Another sad example of how the international drug trade ruins ordinary lives.

As they pulled up by the pier in Sarteneja we literally had to do a running jump ashore as they brushed past and headed onwards to their village. It ended an amazing trip that you won’t find in any guidebooks.

After a wet night of camping at Natalie and Ed’s we were heading for Belize’s wild interior.

WANTED - DEAD OR ALIVE

(NK) Well, we’re back to just the two of us. Captain Demando AKA Leo Panelli AKA Captain Crook is a long story. We’ve deliberated on whether to tell the tale and how to do it and in the end decided to just go for it. It’s not really your average travel blog stuff. More like crime fiction. Settle in, this is a long one and it’s a bumpy ride.

You only have to look at this picture of Trisha to see that Mexico is scam central. The rest of the street was empty but they chose this strategic parking instead.

Nice one lads!

As per our previous blogs, the idea of crewing on a yacht seemed a bit unbelievable to us but we’d spoken to people who’d done it, so we thought, why not. After leaving Cancun and coming to Cozumel island to bring the boat in we were starting to have our suspicions about the man we were calling Captain Demando.

Most of his story checked out, he was a very intelligent/psychologically manipulative guy who knew almost everything about anything and he could play the guitar like the rock star he claimed he was.

On the flip side, he clearly had an alcohol problem, was taking prescription psych drugs and painkillers - for what he claimed were his kidney stones and mild depression - and had some clear personality malfunctions. He’s the sort of guy that is always shouting obscenities or using shock to try and get a laugh or some attention. As his personality began to grate so too his addictions began to surface as real problems.

Our doubts were growing but the carrot of a sailing trip was still dangling and we thought, hey, hopefully the rest of the crew will be decent people. We were also swayed into believing his condition was just short term and he would get better soon. Something he constantly promised us.

After a few days on Cozumel we moved into a swanky three-bed apartment with an ocean view and a diving board straight into the Caribbean sea. It was then that things started to go really wrong.

When we met Leo we were sold his elaborate life story and a bit of online research showed it checked out well enough. He had also told us that he had been robbed in Cancun (FK – even showing us the exact spot it happened) so had no ID, credit cards or anything. All he had was the emergency $2,000 from American Express when his card was stolen. “But not to worry guys, that will all be sorted in a matter of days” was his mantra.

We’d been with him for two weeks and the money was running out, we were now starting to pay for things in the interim which we knew was wrong but the same old, “don’t worry guys my accountant will send you a transfer over.”

I pulled Fi to one side. This guy is a bullshitter. A very good one, I give him that, but a bullshitter. He liked to show us YouTube videos of his favourite songs, as I became more certain of his intentions I showed him this video.

It went right over his head.

FK – Now people that know me will agree that I always like to see the best in people, but when the cold reality of what Neil was saying struck me, I knew it was true but didn’t want to believe it. We started to have secret meetings down by the ocean once Leo had passed out from all the Tafil and Tequila he had necked, to discuss the days bullshit and work out a plan of action.

NK - The money had run out and we were not paying anymore. He was trying to get us to party, to be more fun. He wanted to go out and get girls. I should add here that he was a stinky fat slob, yet one night he brought two young American girls home and apparently had a threesome with them, such was the power of his bullshit. Or was that bullshit. Too much bullshit, to keep track of.

Me and Fi had a bigger problem, we had foolishly started to pay for things he promised to pay us back for since his money had run out. We had foolishly given him a huge $600 for the port fees to get his license to bring the boat in. I said to Fi, be prepared to lose that money or be prepared to call him out and watch the shit go down. Fi sees the best in people, she believed this might all still be true. I must admit, a part of me still did, even though all my instincts said scam.

Up until that time he had been playing us with his bigshot lifestyle and knowledge, paying for stuff, telling us what great people we were and how we were helping him recover and get his life back on track after the divorce with his wife. Teaching us to play guitar, to sail, psychoanalyzing us with disturbing precision, but now the tide was turning.

Things had changed. He was stalling us, using his health as an excuse, using American banks, credit card companies and the consulate being slow as excuses, using Thanksgiving and the holiday season as an excuse for the rest of the crew not being here yet, using Mexican bureaucracy as an excuse. There were too many excuses, which when we challenged were met with outrage.

He then made a number of mistakes. He was constantly talking about his house that was closing for $1.8 mil in Oaxaca. Due to his divorce and for tax reasons he would need to reinvest it straight away into more property. He liked Cozumel and so started looking at land and property with the manager of the apartments we were staying at, Matias, an extremely handsome and friendly Argentinian man who lived on the island with his Italian wife and baby. We’re talking big properties, penthouses and ocean front land. Matias took time from his schedule to make arrangements and show Leo around the island.

(FK) -  Leo had us join him on this little farce, so that we could watch what a big shot property tycoon he was and teach us all about buying property. Urmmm Leo, you obviously weren’t listening when I told you what I did back at home. It was embarrassing, he was so doped up on drugs he was slurring his speech.

(NK) His second mistake was to mention he was looking for another crew-member, and ask us did we know anyone. After some talking we thought about Nicholas, our cousin back in Fairfax. We spoke to Uncle Paul and Auntie Pia who thought it might be a good idea.

Uncle Paul started to do some research and found something that showed up on Facebook through his Iphone but for some reason not when you looked at it on a computer. It was from June, a guy saying Leo is a scam artist, watch out! Turns out if you navigate from his fan-page onto his personal page which is slightly hidden you can find it.

He sent it to me, it could’ve been something or nothing, a minor dispute, but after everything that had happened it confirmed our suspicions.

His third mistake was the way in which he wanted to buy the car from us. He wanted to make the transfer and then get a bill of sale and the title before the money landed in our account. So far we had fallen for it but did he think we were that stupid? More alarm bells went off, no way. We had to get rid of this guy, we had to get our money back.

He started to see I was getting impatient to the point of aggressive and would not put a single peso more into this. He needed the apartment. He needed to show he had money. The next day he announced he was going to buy the apartment from Matias and sure enough Matias and his wife came over to sort out the details.

I cannot convey how much of a bell-end he was in this meeting. An offer was made, he said he wouldn’t be paying any more rent as he’d be using a US ESCROW to make a non refundable deposit immediately yada yada legal speak bullshit. He wanted to buy the house and he wanted to do it now. Matias and his wife went away and made the offer, which was accepted.

(FK) Leo thought he was home and dry. His opening gambit was “Guys, tell me I’m a genius.” Oh Leo, it ain’t over till the fat lady sings, you cocky twat. It all came crashing down on him.

Banged up abroad

(NK) Matias came back to say the offer was accepted and Leo could pay the deposit by transfer into his account. No way, said Leo, I want to do an Escrow. I listened to the conversation. Something was going on with Matias. He was being polite but I could tell by his attitude, he was saying, DO NOT TRY TO SCAM ME!

Like Hitler, Leo was now fighting a war on two fronts. We wouldn’t pay for another week’s rent and Matias wouldn’t let us stay on this promise of an Escrow Leo was talking about.

The next morning came his judgement.

We were moving out and Matias had spent all night doing his homework on Leo and us. He started off by speaking to us first and asking a few questions that he knew the answers to, a test of our honesty, to see if we were part of the scam. He could see we were genuine and he quickly ascertained the situation. While we had been out Matias had checked Leo’s room for weapons. The place was a pig sty and there was a cigarette burn in his bed. I’m a rock star! Would’ve been Leo’s usual response.

FK - As Matias walked out of the apartment, he said he’d be back in an hour. I went to shake his hand and apologise for the absolute debacle. I must have had a look of sheer desperation in my eyes as he said “I need to speak to you outside now." He said what we already knew – This guy is a scam artist. Any hope of this guy being a good honest man evaporated from me and I felt a sense of desperation creeping into me. I told Matias that we didn’t know how to get our money back and get rid of him. He said he would be back in an hour, get the money from him any way you can and I will help you run this rat back into the jungle where he belongs.

NK - Fiona urgently grabbed me and told me what had happened – halleluiah   but how were we going to get out of this. I knew I had to get the money back now. I went back inside and asked Leo if he still had it as we ‘needed it for the port fees’ and I wanted to make sure we didn’t need to draw out any more. He said yes, but I insisted he counted it again as he was probably drunk or doped up on painkillers last time. He pulled the money out and started to count.

“Here, I’ll do it”, I said and snatched it out of his hand. He watched me count it and then put it in my pocket. That’s when he went ballistic. He was in my face saying I was disrespecting him and didn’t trust him. He’d made a big deal about trusting each other, obviously. I didn’t care. Leo acted a tough guy all the time. He’d made the mistake of trying to play fight me when he was drunk. He didn’t know I was trained to fight and fought for fun until late in our relationship. He knew that physically there was no way for him and started to whine he’d left his hat in the car, could he have the keys?

The rat was getting ready to jump ship. Of course, he didn’t get the car keys, he got told to sit down and wait.

I spoke with Matias. We needed to end this and he agreed to help but I never expected what came next. Earlier in the week we’d been looking for paddle boards and found a hostel at the edge of some jungle. That’s where we told Leo we were going. We pulled up just beyond it in a quiet place.

Unbeknown to Leo, Matias had followed us. He got out of the car and told Leo he had a small problem with the cigarette burns. Then he said it: ‘But you don’t care because you are a scam artist trying to scam these good people.’

I chimed in, ‘So what the f*8k is really going on Leo.’ He tried to squirm and all hell broke loose. Matias lost his shit! He was screaming, veins were bulging, the latin fire was alive. I should mention that we had clicked with Matias a little over the previous week and really liked him. (FK – what Neil really means is he had a bit of man crush on Matias!)

Now though, he was someone else and he was talking about doing terrible things to Leo, the sort of things that are usually reserved for movies or African civil wars. I believed him. The phone rang, it was Matias’ wife and Matias was struggling to keep calm while talking to her, she wanted him to calm down but instead he came out with this cracker in his staccato latin accent.

“Yes I know I am angry but my parents, they get divorced when I was younger, I still have a lot of anger issues so when I get a chance like this, well, it is much cheaper than a psychologist.”

Then it was my turn to get angry, Leo was about to get chopped up and buried in the jungle. Yet STILL he lied, still he maintained his story. If we gave him the day he could prove everything he said. Was he completely deluded, mentally ill, did he believe his own lies so much? We left him outside and checked into the hostel. It was starting to look like a scene from a Tarantino film and we needed to calm down before it became one.

Matias left us and headed back onto the main road, but on the way out, as if by fate he saw a passing police car and knew the two officers. The Policia was always out of the question for us. They’d tried to extort us in the past and our Spanish was useless compared to Leo’s. Matias on the other hand was well connected. Off Leo was packed to the station and before we knew it we were all in a room with a judge and the American consulate telling our story.

Leo would spend the night in jail while immigration checked out his status as he had no ID. As we left Matias said, “For the first time I see you shine, you can be the people you are again.”

We bid Matias an emotional thank you and went back to the hostel. A curse had been lifted from us.

That's your last Margarita for some time!

What to do now?

We were shell-shocked by what had happened. Our own stupidity. Could it have gone very differently? How did it all go so wrong?

Let it go? Nope. We started our retribution immediately. We did what we needed to do and found people that wanted Leo’s blood. A list of people he’d conned over the past two years, some just emotionally. Some for thousands of dollars, some for property, boats, businesses, cars and one man for a horrible amount of money. The sort of money we’re not likely to see in our lifetime. Had he kept conning and losing it? What did he see in us? Where we a quick con, part of a bigger con? What became clear was this guy was a professional who’d left a path of destruction.

People were looking for him on an international level and they were over the moon that we had found him and told them his whereabouts.

We examined our weaknesses, the chinks in the armour that almost became our downfall. Why did we fall for that one? Why did we not question that harder? Why us etc? But in the end why us? Perhaps because we’d worked it out. Perhaps because he needed to be stopped. I don’t know. We were dealing with a master of deception. A man who lived to do this and who we came to learn was so mentally messed up, probably believed most of his lies himself. Trust us when we say he had smart answers for everything, kept us busy, manipulated us and managed to keep refueling his time with us.

It’s easy to look at this paraphrased account and question our sanity. The reason we deliberated on writing this? The last thing we need is a - be careful - or unnecessary worry. We can take our own lessons from this. We were targeted, reeled in and when he tried to pull us aboard, we ate the motherfucker.

We have gone through a series of emotions and I would no doubt like to smash him to pieces but we hope what we have done in the aftermath is enough to bring him to justice. The response from people he’s scammed has been rewarding. Gratitude, appreciation and one person saying he was in awe of what we have accomplished. Though, we can’t really give all the details of what we did in the aftermath – it was Fiona’s cunning that saved the day.

This comment being a favourite from the Facebook page

 We are looking for you Leo! You can run but not hide. Look like you fucked with The wrong person!

We’re under no illusions. We were stupid, we were in danger and we owe a lot to Matias for his help in catching him. Good people have been cheated but good people also did what needed too be done. Matias could have walked away from all of us that day but he wanted to help put things right.

So where is Leo Panelli now?

After spending the night in prison he was sent to Cancun. There are now various lawyers representing his various victims trying extradite him for his crimes and various warrants. He had done a great job of leaving just enough but not enough about himself on the internet. Deleting bad comments, closing and reopening email and social media accounts to shake people from his trail. Those accounts belong to someone else now. His time has run out.

Still laughing!

FK - That afternoon we went back to the dogs home where we’d been volunteering and took stock of what had happened. We’d lost out but we also had a new appreciation for each other and for the amazing journey we were on. For all his sham and lies he had taught us one great thing.

“Each morning when you wake together, know that the other could be gone the next day.”

That afternoon we went back to the Cozumel Humane Society dog shelter where we'd been volunteering and got some perspective back.

This is Pixar but I thought she looked more like a Julie

Little Chicle, rescued from the city pound after he was attacked

The day after we just got wrecked

So, we got right back on track and went wreck diving the next morning with the owner of the hostel, Adolfo, before driving Trisha into the sunset, Belize bound. Cozumel was a great little island with world class diving, hopefully one day we will return to the genuine friends we made there.