IN TRISHA WE TRUST

(NK) The time has at last come, we must say goodbye to the ‘most wonderful car in the world.’ No, not Chitty Chitty Bang Bang but our Trisha. A vehicle no less magic and amazing than a car that can fly, this was a car that could negotiate Central American roads.

With Trisha the world really was our oyster. From tackling corrupt police to overtaking around bends going uphill (standard Latino driving) Trisha has done it all without complaining once.

A special thanks to Uncle Paul and Auntie Pia, who wisely convinced us to spend a little more on a car that wasn’t going to give us any trouble. Trisha you really couldn’t have done any more for us.

I could go on with this gushing appreciation for our sturdy Toyota 4 Runner but the frustration of us trying to sell her will no doubt be much more interesting.

Our greedy little eyes had seen the cars in Costa Rica often sell for a much higher price than anywhere else in Central America. The problem with an imported car like ours is the huge import taxes which sort of cancel out any benefits. Not deterred by this small inconvenience we put our best salesman smile on and set about the business of selling a car.

We probably should’ve put an advert on Craigslist or something similar, instead we just asked anyone we came into contact with if they wanted to buy a car. This led to a lot of dead ends. Guys offering $6 or $7 grand would come back with two, saying ‘that’s all I’ve got.’

Either everyone was skint or everyone was trying it on. It was probably a mix of the two. Eventually the family that owned the hostel in La Fortuna mentioned their brother Luis might be interested. After some negotiation he offered $4k. Well under our asking price. We left for our Ayahuasca ceremony but returned to La Fortuna afterwards. We had nowhere else to go and no other serious leads so we decided to push a deal with Luis.

The negotiations began and eventually after a while we settled on $4k and a moped. Although I did like the family dog, Osiito, including him in the deal just wasn’t practical. Neither was a moped, and it just gave us something else to sell.

Luis gave us another option – a Samsung Galaxy phone worth $800 (that we could sell for $500) in Costa Rica, two tours and a free shuttle to Puerto Viejo near the Panama border.

We shook on it, that’s when the fun started. Luis was very elusive for the next couple of days, the tours didn’t materialize and we were left waiting around. Eventually the day came and we went to the bank. For reasons that should be obvious we didn’t fancy carrying $4k in our pocket so wanted to do a bank transfer. His bank couldn’t do international bank transfers. We therefore had to use his Mum’s bank. This involved some dodgy exchange rates and charges but kept our money safe. Once that was done we went to see the lawyer to do the paperwork. Lawyer, which much to Luis’ amusement sounds like ‘liar’ in his Latino accent.

We then sold the phone, which gave us some more cash - and another phone. This was getting more convoluted then we could ever have imagined. Luis had also decided that the tours would one day materialize, just not today. The shuttle to Puerto Viejo was also to be replaced by him in his new car, just not today – and we were driving. Now the money had been transferred he didn’t seem to care about the other parts of the deal.

In England Luis, we call this – Taking the piss.

We took Luis to a nearby park (the jungle reserved for bigger offences) for some stern words.

(FK) Neil liked to use the line – ‘my wife won’t be happy with that’ to help instill a little fear into the macho bravardoism during negotiations, so my opening line to Luis was – ‘Luis, I’m very angry…’ Luis could talk a lot and every point we raised was countered with seven from him, half of which were completely unrelated to the selling of a car. He was killing us with nonsense, a tactic I’m familiar with, living with Neil. Luis’ brother rode up on a bike and cheekily tried to inflame the conversation. These Ticos like a good laugh.

(NK) I cut our losses and drew it to a close; he could forget the tours, as long as a shuttle picked us up the next day. We’d been hanging around in La Fortuna way to long and were both desperate to move on. He agreed, we shook and parted company.

True to his word, the shuttle picked us up at 6.15am and sped us away to the Caribbean with a new smart phone we still haven’t sold.

Surprise surprise, selling a car in Central America is not straightforward. We took a $600 loss on what we originally paid when all was done. Speaking to a couple from the States that night we learned they’d hired a car for a month for $1,000.  $600 for five months, not bad when you look at it from that perspective.

A reminder to us to never take more than you need. We needed enough money for flights out of Panama to Oz, that’s what we got plus a bit more and Trisha went to a good home – we think.

Having a car was the only way and we wouldn’t change it. It gave us the ultimate freedom to go wherever, whenever. No timetable to stick to, no-one to wait for – just go! Perhaps, thinking about it, if we’d made the time, bicycles would have been better or even a car with aquatic capabilities or even a bicycle with aquatic capabilities – hmmm – next time.

Goodbye Trisha, you were only metal and oil, but we loved you!!!!!

PURA VIDA

(FK) Neil and I were getting pretty cocky when it came to border crossings, making sure we had done our research on costs and how many bloody photocopies we needed, we had been flying through them. Our luck ran out when we got to Penas Blancas though and it was payback time for all those easy crossings and our smart arse attitude. It took three hours of our lives that we will never get back, consisting of queuing in the midday sun for two hours to get our passport stamped (you know how us Brits love to queue) going back and forth with paperwork to various windows and getting everything copied in triplicate to get Trisha through and handing over a wad of cash. Neil was not in the best of moods but his spirits were lifted as we got into the beautiful Costa Rican countryside. 

Sunset over Junquillal 

Our sixth and penultimate country on our Americas adventure, we were looking forward to seeing what Costa Rica had to offer. In the back of our minds though was the thought of having to sell Trisha here, having grown rather fond of our four wheeled friend we would be sorry to see her go. Particularly as the realisation hit me that I would have to carry all my own gear from Panama onwards!

Costa Rica is jam packed full of national parks and deciding which to go to was giving me a head ache, so we set up camp not too far from the Nicaraguan border at the Bahia Junquillal National Wildlife Refuge in the Guanacaste region. Wow what a find, picture perfect bay, no electricity and loads of wildlife. We were not alone in our quest for some nature time. The small beach front camp site was playing host to an abundance of Tico families who were all on their jollies and kittedout to the max with all the camping mod cons.Oh no we thought there goes our peace and tranquility. We managed to bag the last beach front plot and set up our two man tent and cooking stove. Our neighbours asked if we needed any help with the rest of our stuff, this is it we replied. 

They obviously took pity on us poorly resourced gringos as they kindly invited us for dinner, well it was their lunch but at 6pm. This was our first introduction to Costa Rican hospitality, the Morales family took us into their fold for the next three days. Sharing their food, solar panel power, teaching us to play Rummie and introducing us to the delights of Donkey Juice, a Baileys-esque home brew that knocked my socks off. We got to practice our Spanish and they got to practice their English. A truly lovely family. 

Feeling part of the wonderful Morales family

Junquillal was the perfect place to just kick back, with no schedule or wifi, we walked, swam and read for the entire time. The day started and ended with a walk along the 3km beach, being up and out before the sun rose gave us the opportunity to see lots of exciting tracks in the sand - crocs, turtles, birds and coatis and the stars were amazing despite it being a full moon. We could have stayed longer, but our supplies were running low and we didn't realise we could drink the tap water at the time. So we hit the road again on route for Liberia and some wifi to get back I touch with the world.

After a much needed catch up time with family over the Internet, it was time to move on and nature was calling us again. Costa Rica has a very different vibe to other Central American countries. It feels very safe, with Ticos really valuing their natural assets and what became apparent to us is that the wealth divide between tourists and locals is not so gapingly obvious as in other places. This all makes for an ideal tourist economy and Costa Rica is an organised and well trodden path for those looking to see the 'wild' whilst also experience the creature comforts of back home.

Our next stop was the Rio Celeste, an usual bright blue river caused by a chemical reaction with the volcanic thermal water. It was certainly pretty beautiful, with a huge waterfall, tropical jungle, hot springs and the crazy azure colour, but alone we were not. Having to wait inline whilst tourists took a hundred pictures of themselves on the slim and muddy track was not ideal. Though my highlight of the hike was getting to see Toucans. Not so for Neil though, as he saw his second Jaguarundi on the drive into the park as I was looking out the window in the opposite direction. The luck of the Kirwan prevails!

The crazy blue lagoon

A poncho sweat tent!

Spot the Toucan...

Neil in his colour co-ordinated 'outfit'

With our rumbling bellies we were keen to look for some where to eat and then hopefully somewhere to camp. We got a 2 for 1 at the most bizarre but beautiful fish farm called Angel Tellaipia located on the main road (6 towards the PanAm). After picking our fish, we were given some fish food to walk around the ponds. It was reminiscent of the film Piraña! The farm was set on different levels with lush, thick grass, an assortment of tropical flowering bushes and a giant fish sculpture! We also stumbled across four very giddy guard dogs, tethered to run, who just wanted some love and attention. Back down to the restaurant we went for our delicious deep fried fish (in a rather tasty KFC style coating!), in our basic Spanglish we asked if there was anywhere nearby to camp. The lady owner went to check with her husband and came back to say we could set up camp on the farm. We asked what the charge was, to which she chuckled and replied "libre". The second act of kindness and hospitality we were shown, Costa Rica's ethos 'Pura Vida' (pure life) really did sum up the essence of the country.

Poor little fish.. yum yum 

Wow, what a spot, and it's FREE!

Our friends Yanni and Michelle had given us some recommendations to visit, one of which was the nearby(ish) town of La Fortuna and Volcano Arenal. The small town had obviously grown as a result of the lucrative tourist trade, with rafting, zip lines, quads, hot springs and hiking tours on offer. We found a cheap place to stay that we could pitch the tent - it used to be called Sissey's Cabanas but has recently undergone a bit of a revamp and was now called BBB. As we turned up, a group of three unhappy looking hippies were loading their beat up camper van with an assortment of weird stuff. Being the nosy person I am, I asked what the place was like. They said the owners had asked them to leave as they were fully booked with reservations and the owners kids were really noisy. 

Not a bad spot.

I looked about, nice garden, kitchen, hammocks, outdoor covered seating area, wifi and only $3 a night to camp, yeah we'll take our chances I said. It turned out to be a great call, Amelia and her family were brilliant and we felt very much at home. It was a little noisy, but more so from the neighbour's cockerel who insisted on crowing throughout the night and the dogs who were on guard for any general movements. Neil was in his element, reverting back to being a kid again, he was the leader of the pack introducing a game called extremo where the kids sat on a rope swing that had an extra rope attached to it to simulate being on a crazy bull. His new name, Nickolini, was being screamed as the kids went higher and higher.

(NK) The kids had me run ragged and were also some of the naughtiest boys I've ever met. They thought nothing of throwing rocks at each other and were constantly causing troubled for their mum. I couldn't have a Skype conversation without one of them joining in. Take this little love -

Butter wouldn't melt sunshine

Christian aka Pepe (what his family called him) aka cheeky chops (what we called him and eventually he called himself). He was a terror! No - one was safe when he was around and he was worryingly good with a lasso for a boy his age. Nevertheless Cheeky Chops, the family dog Ossito and my alter ego Nickolini formed an unlikely pack. I'm ashamed to say I quite liked my Costa Rican name Nickolini -it made me feel like a communist dictator.

Using our new family as our base we explored the Cerro Chatto and surrounding rivers and hot springs. It was lucky we had the kitchen as the Ayahuasca ceremony prescribed a strict diet that avoided many grains and sugary foods. Which rules out most of the plate in Central America. 

An unfazed Coati Mundi

God damn it was a hard hike, but the views of Volcan Arenal were worth it.

We left with one of those happy emotional goodbyes knowing that Amelia's brother Luis was interested in Trisha. Could this be her new home? 

Mr Porras, Neil Amelia, Fernando, Mikal, Christian, Oso the dog and Melvin

AYAHUASCA

You may or may not have heard about Ayahuasca. It’s a medicine originating in the Amazon rainforest. For centuries indigenous tribes and communities have used it for a number of reasons. The plant is a combination of vine and leaf containing DMT and MAOI.

DMT is the active ingredient and it’s found in all living things including you.  MAOI is an inhibitor that allows the DMT to be absorbed into the body. All very scientific so far and although the brew has been used to cure depression, trauma, addiction and a number of other mental illnesses – our reasons for finding Ayahuasca were of the spiritual kind.

We first read about it in a book called Wild, by Jay Griffiths. During her experiences she discovered the very nature of the world around us and what holds it together. Ayahuasca is said to be a healer and a teacher. It’s a way for us to understand more about the universe and ourselves. We wanted to learn more.

It is not a recreational drug or something you take for a good time. It is serious stuff and should always be consumed as part of a ceremony with a shaman or spirit guide. Some experiences may be painful and/or traumatic. It all depends on the person and every time is different. Nearly all-first timers will experience chronic nausea and diarrhea. You must respect it.

After all that had happened back in Mexico we were unable to get to Peru but fate dealt us another card, a Peruvian shaman in Costa Rica that conducted regular ceremonies. Kuyay lived with her husband, Howard, on their organic farm with their three children (three of the happiest kids we have ever met).

Upon arrival they asked us some questions before Howard gave us a tour of the farm. He filled us in on what to expect:

“Everyone is different. Some people feel nothing after three cups, others have one cup and go off all night. Some people relive traumas they’ve forced their memories to forget. Some have extreme visions and visit other realms. The important thing is to have no expectations. It will give you what you need, not what you want. You might have more DMT (points at Neil) you may have less (points at Fi). Who knows, it’s 50% the person and 50% the plant. We’re not in control, we’re here to facilitate.”

Kuyay mentioned that people sometimes beg for it to stop or ask for the hospital. No, she says – she can guide you but only the individual can walk through the experience. Once you drink, you have made that decision.

We felt comfortable. The ceremony would have just five people and Kuyay was a native of Peru. Generations of her family had worked with Ayahuasca and her parents had blessed the room. We felt we were in safe hands.

Here, we'll attempt to explain as best we can:

Neil’s account

We sat in the room and waited, relaxing and covering ourselves with blankets to keep warm.

Kuyay began the ceremony with a version of Pachabel's Canon playing on the stereo. One by one we went up to receive the Ayahuasca and went back to lie down.

Kuyay then came round and blew the tobacco smoke over us, our chest, our face, our forehead whilst reciting an incantation. Then a small amount of honey was placed on our tongue and finally a balm covered my face.

I lay back and closed my eyes waiting to see what would happen. After a short time I felt the pulsing in my body. My lips and my hands were moving. The pulse in my body was strong. My senses heightened, I could hear the main road and coyotes howling in the distance.

An overwhelming sensation of love and calm came over me as tears rolled down my cheeks. I thought of my family and Fiona’s family and imagined hugging them with all the love I could muster. It then spread to other family members, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents. Next were friends, colleagues and people from my past. Then came strangers, animals, life - until it was pulsing through everything.

It subsided, the message was clear. Love harder, love with everything you have. It is the most powerful thing we possess and nothing can stop it.

I slipped back into dreams and awoke again. The candlelight from the toilet was dancing. My body was changing. I was losing the feeling in my hands and legs. I was being pulled from my body and falling back in. The music had changed and I felt the presence of my gone but not forgotten grandmother, Muriel Kirwan. She smiled a smile that only she could smile. Her spirit of adventure was alive and kicking and she was there. She had always been there. Wherever this was taking me, she was there.

The music changed and the walls moved into each other. All around me was black. I could no longer feel the mattress I was lying on. The eyes came out of the darkness, bright yellow. Wolf eyes. In the distance a wolf was stalking and watching. A bright electric white it moved between trees of the same colour.

It disappeared. I became aware of the music again and it took complete control of me.

My hands started to caress my face and my legs danced. The blackness was all around me, filled with swirls, geometric patterns and stars. My hands became vines that cradled me. I rocked through galaxies and different dimensions. My hands danced reaching for more. I felt an overwhelming sense to laugh. A spirit was filling me and it was playful. It made me laugh against my will (I didn’t want to disturb the group) but two other people began to laugh with me. They felt it too. I looked and their spirits were with me. It was a laughter more honest and pure than I have ever felt. I danced and the laughter took me until I faded back into unconsciousness.

She was there, the spirit vine had started to talk to me. She told me it was alright. She took me back through my life from that precise moment to my childhood. She showed me the good and the bad. It was all part of the plan. The universe was unfolding as it should with it’s tendency towards complexity and evolution towards the end goal. The good, the bad, the suffering, the happiness was all part of it, all necessary. We were all connected, all part of the same universe and connected by the same particles that came from the stars at the beginning of time. That was what I understood though nothing was said.

I said sorry, sorry for the wrongs I had done. The pain I had caused others. I felt it all at once. I didn’t mean it I said, I was sorry a thousand times over. It was ok, she slowed it down, she gave me the answers I needed. It was all going to be OK. In the end there will be just peace. The peace brought me back.

My insides convulsed and I walked to the toilet. The ground was moving and disappearing beneath my feet but the light guided me. I purged. Sick, diarrhea, it flowed from me like a black ooze. It was real but not real and it flowed and flowed. The room throbbed and pulsed around me and I returned to my mattress.

‘I told you, we were right all along.’ I said to Fiona as I rolled on my side. She hadn’t been with me in the spirit world but I knew she could feel something.

The shaman, Kuyay, sat me up and told me to drink more. She had changed from a young woman to a gray haired woman that looked 100 years old. I later found out this was the grandmother spirit of Ayahuasca. She had come to guide me. My journey was not over and I drank again. Hold it inside you she said. Bien. Good, good.

I went deeper. The room connected. Everything connected and the visions came. I turned to look at Fiona. She smiled. A jaguar head of electric blue surrounded her head.

Songs came into my head. All you need is love, The Beatles. And oddly, very oddly -  the Playbus theme tune from my childhood. As usual, we stopped at the Y bird stop.

I became an animal, I smelt like and animal, I could feel my fur and licked and gnawed at my paws.

Ayahuasca took me. Fast at first until my body and mind became afraid. “It’s OK" she said, “let go.”

I trusted and I let go. My mind became hers and I had no control over thoughts. I went around the world and spoke to family, friends and strangers.  I had a desperate urge to reach out to them. I saw things, strangers, landscapes, jungles.  It is all happening as it should, so be at peace and love harder. We continued on the journey and I felt lost.

“Despacio.” (slowly) I cried not knowing why I used Spanish and she slowed down for me. “You made this choice” she said.

“You made a deal with me. Now I must show you.”

And she did, for what seemed like an eternity I went with her. I never thought it would end. I knew it would eventually at times but part of me felt my life on earth was over and that this timeless, infinite space was where I would stay. I was floating through the universe and she wasn’t about to take me back. It became scary again but she comforted me and let me float back.

“Thank you.” I repeated over and over again.

Slowly, reality began to take over. My mattress and body came back to me.

I floated in and out for a while. Every time I tried to leave she pulled me back and made me promise that I would return. I gave my word that I would.

I went to the toilet and purged again. This time the building around me was solid and reality was back. I walked outside and the stars were closer and brighter than I’d ever seen them before in my life. I woke Fiona and she joined me outside. It was 3am and it had ended six hours later. I slept until sunrise and woke in a state of peaceful disbelief.

My world had changed for the better. I pray that it lasts until the day I return to meet her.

Fiona’s account

We arrived early so that we could just relax for the night, but found out that there was a small ceremony taking place that evening. We hadn’t eaten too much that day and had been sticking to a pretty much clean diet as prescribed for the past week (apart from the German Bakery incident) so Howard thought we would be okay.

I had been practicing some Yoga breathing that Tex had taught us to try and relax, but I still had a feeling of tension below my diaphragm. As the ceremony started I drank a cup of the dark thick liquid, it tasted like nothing I had had before – bitter, coffee, chocolate, Bovril.

I laid back down and dozed to try and relax, but my mind was in overdrive thinking too much about what was going to happen but after a while I slipped into a dream like state. I was with people I didn’t know but everyone and everything around me was vibrating. I couldn’t walk properly and was the only person that could see the vibrations. I could feel the electricity moving through my skin, making me shiver and tingle. I became conscious of the room again and could hear Neil laughing. I opened my eyes and could see his face glowing with happiness, his arms were extended and reaching skywards, dancing and moving.

I began to think, why isn’t that happening to me and then the feeling of sickness overwhelmed me and I threw up into the jug Kuyay had given us. A lot more came out than went in and I felt the relief of being purged and cleansed. A short while after I had the second cup of medicine and once again fell back into dream land, this time I was amidst nature. I was ever changing from water to a vine to an animal, but all that I touched and moved through came to life in a wild riot of colour. I felt like I was looking for something but then the trip ended with me throwing up again fairly soon after having the second cup.

I knew then that the Ayahausca had left me. I listened to Neil talking to her and stroked his hand to let him know I was there still and he was not lost. We went outside later and the stars felt like they were on top of us. He was so overwhelmed with happiness and peace however I felt like I hadn’t got the experience I had hoped for somehow.

I woke the next day feeling a little disappointed with myself. The realization that I had wasted this amazing gift made me ask the question – why? I had allowed my inner fear to take over, to try and control the situation. I wanted to have a magical time but didn’t want to face my fears or the truth of whatever was to unfold. I hadn’t fully trusted in her and let myself go, I also felt a sense of responsibility for Neil who was lying next to me. That feeling of when you are at a party and a friend is so drunk that you sober up and can’t get drunk for the rest of the night.

I explained how I felt to Howard and Kuyay, that I had been searching for something but couldn’t find it. Howard said that a number of people feel they are unfinished after their first time but only I would know inside if and when I was ready to go back.

I took the rest of the day to relax and think about what had happened to decipher the things I felt and was shown. It came to me. I was looking for me and I wanted to take part in the ceremony that night. They had never had someone do a ceremony two nights in a row, but Howard said I needed to do what I needed to do, they couldn’t tell me what was right or wrong.

I felt really comfortable with my decision and my whole perspective changed which helped with the preparation this time round. I got chatting to one of the other guys who was doing it too, Chris, we laughed, joked and shared our deepest secrets. Ayahuasca has that effect on you, you only want to deal in truths. I gave Neil a kiss and he told me to trust it completely, I knew he was right.

As I laid down, I thought to myself, this is about me and my journey. I wanted to find my fear, face it and get rid of it. I wanted to know why I had it and why I let it control me, making me feel unconfident and unsure of myself. The energy in the room was different, I was warm and felt unbelievably happy and lucky. I took the medicine and Kuyay whispered to me, “keep it inside, keep it inside for a long time even if you feel sick push that feeling away.”

With the room in darkness, I stroked my tummy imagining the Ayahuasca travelling through my body. I told her I was ready, that I trusted her to show me the way and would give myself to her completely. As I looked up to the ceiling, I could see swirls of white smoke, like small clouds dancing and changing shapes to the music. I stretched out my arms with a huge smile on my face and relaxed waiting for what ever was to come.

The rest of the experience is difficult for me to describe and to do it full justice. It was very different to Neil’s and gave me feelings that I can’t put into words. So this is just a flavour of what ensued.

My feet and toes began to twitch, with the uncontrollable urge to move them, so I did, to the beat of the music. This urge then started to move up my body as I started to dance and wriggle about on my mattress with my body feeling like it was plugged into the mains.

Kuyay came to me and gave me another cup of medicine, “remember, hold it deep inside you.” I started to see florescent lights and geometric shapes in the sky, pulsating as I just let my body do what it wanted. The Ayahausca didn’t take me completely, she was saying to me “now are you sure you want this, you are going to have to put your trust in me and let go of your fear”, “yes I said, I’m ready this time. I sorry I didn’t trust you last night.” “Good she said, but you are going to have to keep up with me or you will lose me.”

As I was dancing on my back and letting the music wash over me I became aware that the ceiling was transforming, first into yellow wolf eyes and then into a crazy coloured animated like jungle scene that looked like it had been drawn. In the trees was a jaguar watching me dance and smiling, he dropped his paw down towards me and told me to reach out for it as he was going to help pull me up into his world. I lifted my arm and held out to touch him.

I started to move more and had an intense feeling of absolute bliss and joy as I began to wiggle my hips and bum and then my shoulder blades onto the mattress. I was a dog or a wolf with a big shaggy coat laying on my back and rubbing myself all over the soft grass. I could feel my fur and the folds of skins and the thought that came into my mind was – love the skin that you are in. She was making me feel so, so happy and content with who I am, telling me I am who I am and be confident with that knowledge. I had the most powerful feeling that I was lost on a psychedelic cartoon like tunnel and wanted to be sick but I fought it and took control of it, keeping the medicine inside me. It was the most exquisite battle. 

After what felt like an eternity, I felt the fear in me start moving up in a tight black ball as it got to me chest I knew it was time to puke it right out. As I was being sick, I had a huge sense of relief. Kuyay was stood watching over me, but it wasn’t her face looking down, it was an old lady with white hair – the grandmother spirit. She nodded to me and I nodded back. I lay back down, on my side like a dog, nuzzling into my pillow saying thank you. Content and happy ready to be submerged into a dream world.

I can’t really remember beyond that point other than hearing the experiences of the others in the room – sobbing, screaming, shouting, singing, until it got to around 12.30 and I knew my journey was finished but also that my friendship with Ayahausca had just begun. Neil was sleeping in the house, so I wrapped a blanket around me and went to join him in bed, I couldn’t wait to tell him that I had got the answers I was looking for. So I whispered my story to him as he held me very tight. I could feel his happiness for me radiate from him. 

With Kuyay and Isaiah

(NK) The words here still miss what really happened and I don’t know if it will ever be possible for us to fully explain our experience. I know I have an understanding now that I can’t even put into words.

From arrival at the farm I had constant feelings of Déjà Vu. On the second night while I slept and listened to the screams and shouts from the ceremonial room outside I felt the energy. The dogs too started to bark and growl like crazy while the spirits gathered. Some of the people had experienced some darkness and I think this is why the dogs reacted so vehemently.

How was Ayahuasca discovered? Legend says that the plants spoke to the people and told them what to do. It is a natural portal. DMT is in you and leaves you when you die. It is held in your pineal gland or third eye. By increasing the amount in your body you can see deeper into yourself and the unseen world around you.

The first Christian missionaries dismissed it as the work of the devil due to the trance like states it induces. I won’t go into my feelings on organized religion as I don’t wish to offend but the irony of this is amusing.

Some people may want to judge Ayahuasca and dismiss it as a type of drug. It’s a pejorative term for such a special medicine but no matter. We now understand the significance of this plant and the role it could play in healing our society and pushing forward its evolution.

We, you – Gates, Obama – whoever? We’re not in charge here; our arrogance of assumed control is misplaced. We do have power -The power to change ourselves, the power to love and help others. Beyond that, the universe will decide and we must trust it.

THE ONE WHERE A MONKEY LANDS ON FI

(NK) Firmly on dry land again the road took us into the central highlands of Honduras and the Cerro Azul Meambar national park (Panacam).  We were happy to be back with Trisha and camping again. To our relief the park provided a concrete floored shelter for our tent as the ground in the cloud forest was pretty wet.

Back to the jungle

Our dry oasis

The trails in this park are pristine and it was one of those great places where we were the only people there. The scenery and plant life as usual were straight out of a Hollywood blockbuster. It was a fairly tough 12 km hike up and down the slopes but when we reached the cloud at the top we were amazed by the stillness and even more excited to see Jaguar footprints.

Up in the clouds

On the hunt for big cats.

I woke early the next morning for the toilet (5am) and as I stumbled bleary-eyed back to the tent a cat silhouette stealthily glided past the building opposite our tent. The ranger confirmed it was probably a Jaguarundi, the smaller cousin of the Jaguar.

Our lust for nature satisfied we decided it was time to break for our next country, Nicaragua and set off on another mammoth drive stopping for breakfast at a small crossroads. We ordered a tamale each and sat down. There was a quiet intrigue in the room and it became clear everyone had a handgun at some point on their body. There was also a security guard outside with a shotgun.

Now, I wasn’t sure why a ramshackle hut at a crossroads in the middle of nowhere needed a security guard. I could also see some interesting conversations and pointing going on at the bus stop over the road.

“Come on Fi, finish your tamale, I think we should go.”

“I’ve not finished my coffee yet.”

I’ll leave what I urgently whispered next but it was accompanied by a gentle kick in the shin. Honduras had been a lovely experience so far and I wanted to keep it that way. The non-tourist areas were definitely not for tourists.

The crossing into Nicaragua was fairly straightforward and we made straight for the lakeside town of Grenada. The Nicaraguans we had met so far were really friendly but Grenada had a real edge.

Walking around the town it was clear to see the look of discontentment and suffering on the face of local people, no doubt enhanced by rich tourists like us. When I say rich, I mean you have a roof over your head, a car to drive and food in your belly. The obvious juxtaposition between swathes of US tourists on the main street of restaurants and the open sewers and desperation on the nearby residential streets was thought provoking.

Like many Central American countries, Nicaragua seems to have too many guns and not enough money. We took a wrong turning down a dark street and were immediately joined by two drunk, scarred up men. Nothing happened in the end and we finished our conversation on a smile but it was clear by their questions that they were testing the water on our fear and vulnerability.

As you can perhaps tell Grenada wasn’t exactly enjoyable. Many other travellers ignore the poor saying they don’t want to encourage begging.  One table of Americans even said: “Here comes the sob story.” When a skin and bones kid approached their table.

I found this attitude pretty shameful. To dismiss suffering and poverty like that is perhaps easy to do, as most of us have never had to experience it. I’m talking real poverty, which is not the same thing as receiving housing and benefits from the government. I know this is a travel blog and it’s supposed to be fun and exciting but I think it’s important to cover everything we see and experience, including the bad. When I look back at all the times we’ve haggled and turned down guys trying to make a living in these countries I feel ashamed. We can’t help everyone but perhaps we can give more and take less from now on. Even the police who try to get bribes from us are just trying to feed a family.

It’s a hard compromise to make when you’re trying to enjoy yourself with money you’ve earned. The imbalance of wealth in the world really makes you question the right you have to that kind of money - no matter how hard you feel you may have worked for it.

Seeing those who had so much walking around oblivious to those who had so little was a wake up call. I don’t think things should carry on like this and it’s worth reading up on the author Noam Chomsky if you get chance. He can help to explain why some countries are so rich and some are so poor much better than I can. It’s definitely not because people are lazy and/or stupid so if you have that opinion then please do some research and reconsider.

Thought for the day over, we continued southbound to the surf town of San Juan Del Sur. After a quick look around we drove onwards to Playa Madera and camped at a local co-operative called the Café Revolucion. It was windier than Spinningfields so putting the tent up was a trial and the local dogs kept running off with our poles.

Naughty dogs!

We finally got it up and Fi was half in half out getting the bedding laid out while I played with dogs. I then heard a crash and an almighty scream.

I rushed over to the tent to see a broken branch, a confused looking howler Monkey and a shocked Fiona.

“That Monkey just fell on me!” She shrieked.

The Monkey had nothing to say in its defense. Instead it sneered, dismissively waved its hand and scrambled up the nearest tree.

After all that shock Fi decided to opt out of surfing. With some help from the locals I finally started to stand and catch waves. I even have photo evidence.

Riding the wave

All the way to the beach

Another thing that helped was the massive stingrays on the bottom. A cold current had brought thousands of them into the bay and they were huge. My board seemed like the safest place to be and with that motivation I managed to stay stuck to it. (FK  - urm yeah, that was the real reason I decided not to surf Kirwan, not the monkey incident!)

(FK) I still hadn’t recovered from my surfing experience in Brazil, near drowning and losing my bikini bottoms, granted the waves weren’t comparable here, but I wasn’t about to risk it with a possible ‘Steve Irwin’ either.

I love to see rays when I’m diving so was fascinated that so many had turned up. A guy had told us that the local fishermen were out catching them to sell to make ceviche and soup dishes – both local specialties. I had mixed feelings about this that were only compounded when I saw a huge ray being dragged up onto the beach and left to suffocate. I’m a meat and fish eater and will continue to be so, but this sight of a living creature dying in a slow and probably painful death left me sobbing and still makes my eyes sting when I think about it.

I was having a crisis of conscience. My head was saying, Nicaragua is a poor country and its people need to make a living. The rays were plentiful and were being fished in relative low numbers from what I could see and a fisherman said that they came back in large numbers every year. It’s also a little hypocritical when someone from a developed country where fish populations have been decimated then tells someone in the third world not to fish on their front door.

Not a pretty sight

My heart though was singing a different tune, if a sentient creature is going to give its life to feed us then it should die as quickly and as painlessly as possible being shown the respect and care it deserves. I felt these fish were not being treated that way. It is a reality of life though; in the west we are rarely faced with death in this way. The food we consume is all nicely packaged and prepared, a far cry from its living form. Now I’m not about to turn into a preaching vegan or owt, but it was a slap round the face to remind me to appreciate the food that I eat and to make the right choices about its provenance. A hard but important lesson for me.

We decided before we left to sell ‘the Palace’ our eight-man tent that we haven’t used since Mexico to the owner of Café Revolucion, Abe. Hopefully it can be a great home for him while he builds his house and continues to grow his co-operative business.

Abe, after the deal of the century

Nicaragua perhaps wasn’t the most fun of all the countries we visited; maybe we didn’t see the best of it. It did, however, reinforce our perspective on how the world works - who prospers, who suffers and who doesn’t care as long as they’re comfortable (that’d be us). There are no easy answers to the mess that has been made and continues to be made. As we grow more interdependent as a globe and more connected through technology we will be forced to face some harsh truths and find a new direction. Or maybe we'll just continue sleep walking.